Posts tagged personal

Signs Point to Yes

Is it pathetic that I couldn’t get myself to make an appointment for a physical until I found out I can interact with the doctor’s office online?

Probably, but I’ll take whatever gets the job done.

My First Amazon Order

That sounds like baby’s first pair of shoes or something. Can I get it bronzed?

Blankbaby has prompted me to find my first Amazon order. Mostly just because it amuses me to extend the meme chain of links.

According to Amazon’s order history, my first order was on November 23, 1998. It consisted of the following:

Some people in comments on other entries have suggested that this isn’t the oldest order. My boyfriend thought the same about his. Maybe they’re right, but I sure as heck couldn’t tell you by now.

Birthday Blues

Today is my 25th birthday. That’s a quarter of a century. Five squared. A pretty cool number, really. So I feel like I should have some insightful writing to mark the occasion.

But I’m just tired. And a little depressed. I don’t the energy to do much of anything in the little time that I have at home after work. And even less time by the time my boyfriend gets home. I’m either going to work, working, coming back from work, or hiding from my boyfriend’s family.

I don’t know what to do. Right now, I guess I’m going to bed.

Some days I feel like a Sim

I started playing The Sims a week or so ago. Haven’t had much time to devote to it yet, but I did have enough time to remember how annoying it is to get them to go to work and make them happy without depriving them of sleep. It always seems like it takes them so long to do things. Half an hour to pee? Come on! No wonder they don’t have enough time to do stuff at night.

Then I started my first full time job in quite a while today. Suddenly, I find myself wanting to shake my fists in the direction of the sky at the all-powerful being who left me so tired.

I felt pretty good this morning, considering the mild case of whiplash I got from the accident Friday night. (I forgot to mention how nice and convenient this was to have happened the weekend before I had to start a new job.) Unfortunately, I forgot to take ibuprofen today, so that feeling disappeared before lunch. I was struggling to pay attention to the training this afternoon when all I wanted to do was cry, I hurt so bad. Finally got back to the train station and then had to drive home with all the idiots on the road. People on River Road are so stupid. You want to pull out in front of me, at least finish the job and get your ass out of my lane.

A hot shower, herbal heat pack, bottle of water, and massive dose of ibuprofen later, I’m feeling a bit better. Got to remember to keep up with the ibuprofen so it maintains that level of effectiveness. Now, on to other things, in the one and a half hours I have to entertain myself before I have to sleep to do it all over again tomorrow.

My poor, misunderstood Sims.

Ice and Idiots

So, I’m starting a new job in Boston on Monday. My boyfriend’s mother drove me to the train station today so I could get a monthly pass and so I’d know where it is. We got back to our house, and she was waiting to turn into our side street when some doofus couldn’t stop in time and slid into the back of our car. Got bounced around quite a bit; it was no light tap. The bumper is hanging off the right side of the car now. The bumper that was just fixed. We’re okay, although my neck hurts a little bit. Of course, my boyfriend’s mother blames this on me sitting in front of the computer too much. Whatever.

We Grieve for the Living

The dead are beyond us. They have passed on to what is, hopefully, a better place, but wherever they go, it is beyond our reach. The saddest part is those who remain; those who have holes in their lives left by the departed. The devoted husband, struck by tragedy at a time that should have been his greatest joy. An infant son, who will never again be held by his mother. The parents who have outlived their child. The students who miss a beloved teacher.

I attended the funeral service for a friend today. Not a close friend, but one of the kindest people I’ve known. I am honored that I could be there with my friends and her family to send her on her way. Life was too short for Katie, but I think she lived hers to the fullest potential that anyone could wish for.

Oh Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream…

I hate that time of night between shutting off the light and falling asleep. All too often, my thoughts come home to roost, free from the distractions of the day, to peck away at my mind. I lay in bed, tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable. Too hot, too cold, neck hurts, head hurts, knee hurts, wrist hurts. It’s always something. And so I find myself back here at the keyboard, trying to avoid the things that nag away.

“Something wicked this way comes.”

I’m feeling a generalized sense of dread lately. There’s nothing in particular that I’m worried about, although I do have a job interview on Thursday. I’m more happy about that than worried, and I don’t think that’s it anyway. I just feel wound tighter than a drum, and it’s all too easy for things to get under my skin.

I suppose there are plenty of things to worry about at that. The holidays are coming up, and I really want to go to my mother’s for Christmas. I’m hoping that the job I got at the mall will permit this. I don’t know what I’ll do if it doesn’t. Maybe I’ll get this tech support job, which would hopefully give me a little more leeway. I desperately need the money, but it’s very hard to be thinking about jobs at this time of year, when what one really wants is to spend time with family.

Perhaps writing this down will appease the storm of thoughts. I want to work on a redesign for the site, but I fear I’d never get any sleep that way, and I have too much to do tomorrow—errr, make that today—to get ready for my interview.

Memories are killing.

There were not many steps. I had counted them a thousand times, both going up and coming down, but the figure has gone from my mind. Memories are killing. So you must not think of certain things, of those that are dear to you, or rather you must think of them, for if you don’t there is the danger of finding them, in your mind, little by little. That is to say you must think of them for a while, a good while, everyday, several times a day, until they sink forever in the mud.

Samuel Beckett, The Expelled

A Zarthosti Marriage Ceremony

This weekend, I attended a wedding ceremony for one of Ed’s friends from RPI. His family is evidently of Persian descent and the wedding was in the Zarathusti tradition. I have to say, I thought it was pretty cool. It was interesting to see how a different culture celebrates marriage. This was definitely unlike any wedding I’ve been to, which have all been of the Christian tradition.

The priest explained the various parts of the ceremony to use before it began. I thought this was kind of pointless, since it was all explained in the program, until I realized that we couldn’t really see or hear what they were doing up front. The real fun was at the reception, though. Boy, do these people know how to party. It reminded me of Monsoon Wedding. Lots of food, lots of music, lots of dancing. Even the song that was in Monsoon Wedding that some of the characters performed a dance to was played. Apparently, it’s sung by a famous Indian pop artist. They were still partying when we left.

Also at the wedding, I got to meet a bunch of Ed’s other friends from RPI. I had met a couple at the last wedding we went to. They’re a pretty fun group, and I’m glad I had the chance to meet them. We stopped at the home of two of his friends on the way home and had dinner with them before we returned to Andover. All in all, a very nice weekend.

Laundry and the art of not knowing Chinese

Okay, so I’m not perfect. I’m a little lazy, I’m a little depressed, I’m having more than enough trouble looking for and finding a job because I’m an utter coward. However, I don’t see how any of these things make me responsible for magically knowing that there’s laundry in the dryer that I should be folding when I didn’t even put it in there. My boyfriend’s mother appears to think so. Or at least that’s how I heard it secondhand from Ed. It’s bad enough that I don’t know what people are talking about in this house 90 percent of the time, let alone when they’re actually talking about me.

I’m sorry I’ve been around the house too much. I’m sorry I haven’t found a job yet. I hate depending on people who aren’t my family. Hell, I hate depending on people who are my family. I just don’t know what to do about it right now, and I resent the implication that I should be psychic and know exactly what needs to be done.

To tell the truth, I’m a little afraid of Ed’s mother. She’s a perfectly nice woman, just a little intimidating, and my living with her son and not making very much money isn’t helping. I’m feeling a little cornered. I can’t find a job, and the only other thing I could do is move in with my parents, but that would mean moving far away from Ed again.

Well, now that I’ve gotten that at least partially out of my system, back to your normal programming. I hope that this at least made some sense, I’m a little too generally upset to be sure.

Good friends, good food, good drinks

Last weekend, we went to Philadelphia to visit some of my friends from college and pick up my regalia for graduation. Happily, I was able to coincide that errand with my friend Emily’s birthday on May 31st. We had dinner and Buca di Beppo and then headed to Dave and Buster’s.

Buca di Beppo’s was pretty cool. It’s a family-style Italian restaurant, where the entrees serve about four people. The food was really good, although I would have liked some more pasta. We had a stuffed pasta assortment and veal and eggplant parmigiana (one of my friends is a vegetarian). I actually only ate the eggplant and a couple pieces of pasta. By that point, I was too full for anything else. We also tried some of the orangecello, since they were out of the lemoncello due to exportation (or was it importation) problems. Man, that stuff is strong. You have to swallow fast or you taste that grain alcohol way too much. Our waiter was pretty cool, although I think you have to pass some kind of extroversion test to work there. He was really really friendly.

Dave and Buster’s was pretty typical. Played some video games, skee ball, and some gambling games. I ended up with a shot glass for my trouble. ;)

While I was in the area, I also had the chance to have brunch with my friend Yoni, probably the first person I really connected with at Drexel.

It felt like old times, which makes me more than a little nostalgic for college. Some of my friends I haven’t seen since fall term, when I was last at Drexel, and some for even longer than that, so it was quite a get together. I didn’t really have friends like this before college, and it reminded me of what I’m missing. It’s not the same up here in Boston. However, I was really happy to get the chance to visit, and hopefully there will be more opportunities in the future to keep in touch.

New Hair-do!

I got a new hair style today. It’s layered and quite a bit shorter. I really needed a change. I had my hair grown out several inches below my shoulders, but it was just straight and didn’t really have any shape. The stylist sounded a little incredulous when I told her to cut it off. I’ll have to see how it goes when I actually style it myself, but I like it so far.

Of course, then I come home and my boyfriend’s mother says, “I could have cut it better!” I say don’t mix hair cuts and family. ;)


It’s hard to beat leaving work early when the boss says he’ll pay you for the rest of the day and driving home before rush hour really starts on a beautiful, sunny spring day, with the sun roof open, sun glasses on, and Voice of the Beehive’s Honey Lingers blasting on the stereo.

Meet the parents

My mother and stepfather came up to visit me this weekend. I haven’t seen them in a while, so it was good to see them. My mommy gave me a stuffed Cadbury bunny that clucks like a chicken. It came with some Cadbury eggs too, yum.

Ed and I took them around Boston a bit. The weather was awful on Saturday, so we just went to Legal Sea Foods Restaurant for lunch and then went back to Andover so my parents could check into the hotel. Later we went to dinner with them and Ed’s parents and sister in Chinatown. Ed’s parents had offered to take them there, which was cool. I’m glad my parents got to experience Chinese food like I do. After dinner, we dropped them back at the hotel because we were all tired. They had had a long drive Friday night and Saturday morning, especially with the weather, and Ed and I went to bed too late, as usual. ;)

Sunday, we got started a little earlier, but not much. I tried to get up early, really I did, but I was just too tired. So, we decided to hold dim sum for another visit and head straight to downtown Boston. We stopped at Quincy Market and had dinner at Cheers. Then we headed over to Faneuil Hall for a bit of shopping. We made our way over to Boston Common and the Boston Public Garden. I finally got to see the sculpture of the ducklings inspired by Make Way for Ducklings. Then we headed home because Ed’s mother had offered to cook dinner. We had a very nice meal, with tea and Chinese cookies at the end. My parents met Ed’s cats, Jay and Leno, and we demonstrated Jay’s acrobatic abilities for them. Then we hugged good bye, and they headed back to the hotel to get an early start in the morning.

I am now dead tired, but it’s been a lovely weekend.

Happy New Year!

It’s the Chinese new year! It’s been an interesting weekend, since I spent it with my boyfriend’s family (well, duh, since I’m living here) and they are, obviously, Chinese. I got to experience a real Chinese new year as a result.

2002 Year in Review

Another year come and gone. I had a good Christmas to end it. It was a nice, quiet holiday spent at my mother’s house with my sweetie. I got to see tons of my family and spend more time than usual with my father’s side. My mother had a graduation dinner for me and a whole bunch of my family came. My maternal grandparents and aunts and uncles and my paternal aunts and other family. I can’t remember ever seeing those people together. They all love Ed, too, which is a good thing. :)

For Christmas, I got the Enya “Only Time” collection that I’d been lusting after, plus a few more things from my wishlist and some surprises. My mother gave me pajamas with penguins! My sweetie gave me a shoulder bag that I had eyed some time ago and posted on my blog. It was really sweet that he remembered. :) I also got several herbal heat packs of various shapes to add to my collection, which is something I’d been wanting, especially the neck one. My brother Aaron and his girlfriend made me a string of Christmas lights that have origami balloons in a rainbow of colors stuck on the lights. It looks really pretty. This Christmas was more low key than most, but I got some money for graduation, so I picked up a few other things from my wishlist, plus some new clothes. Money goes too fast.

As for the rest of the year, it’s been full of changes.

The biggest one has been meeting my sweetie. I really enjoy being with him, and it’s even better since the second big change, my graduating from college. I’m really happy with the way things are going. We have a lot in common.

Unfortunately, that means finding a job, something that’s been giving me a lot of anxiety since the holidays ended. I hate interviews, particularly with the increasing use of the behavioral style. I really can’t seem to recall the kinds of situations and the level of detail that interviewers want. My brain must be defective, because I just can’t think of them. The situations I can remember are generally not helpful. Employers want you to be self-sufficient, responsible, able to communicate well with your boss, and a go-getter. I really don’t feel that I’m any of these things, and I can’t think of an experiences that would make me look like it. I’m good at trouble shooting, but I can’t think of any specific examples. I’m not a self-starter, I’m often timid, and the only times I can think of where I had a disagreement with a boss, I did not handle it in the most mature manner. So I have no idea what I’m going to tell people. I’m really not that bad of an employee, most of my bosses have liked me, but I’m not a great one either.

I am much relieved to have made it through school. I wasn’t at all sure I would graduate. My school record has not been the greatest (another thing that I can’t hold up to prospective employers). I finish things, and I finish them adequately, but usually at the last minute and with nowhere near the quality they should have.

This year will bring another slew of changes. I only hope that they are for the better.


I have graduated! Yes, that’s right, I survived Drexel and emerged victorious with my bachelor’s degree.

Happy happy happy!

Now I’m on vacation and getting ready to spend Christmas at my mother’s house with my boyfriend. I can’t believe it’s finally over. :)

Can’t sleep, clown’ll eat me.

I can’t sleep. I suppose if I laid there long enough, I would, but then I’d be late for my final in guitar. Plus, I’m just too jittery. I can’t stop worrying about classes. I’m going to be a wreck for the next week or so.

Le sigh.